Friday, April 4, 2008

nothing beats beets (or beeks)

If you're rooting for root vegetables, this is the dish for you. ChocolateZuchinni as usual has a delish recipe that you can follow more precisely from the link. Basically, though, you grate an equal weight of beets and carrots, combine with an oil, a vinegar, some mustard and minced garlic, salt and peppa, throw in some toasted nuts (pine nuts, walnuts?) and add feta.

Disclaimers:

(1) if you have quantitative estimation skills like madeleine’s, deleg(r)ate (HAH!) determination of beet and carrot numbers
(2) much as we here at ‘c is for kitchen’ disapprove of the propagation of gender stereotypes, this is the recipe to get yourself a boyfriend for. or a burly lady. polyamory is ideal. your flabby biceps will thank you.
(3) there are inherent dangers related to the consumption of beets some of which will not be discussed on this blog. if you develop a health issue shortly after beet consumption, do not contact us, instead frantically call/email your mom or any of your friend’s parents with medical degrees. the other major danger: stainage. you could wear rubber gloves but then you would be lame AND you would not be able to utilize any of the following:

brilliant suggestions on how to use beet juice to break up beet grating monotony:
necessary equipment→ beets, and unsuspecting victims

(1) the vampire: crude, works best with small children. it is best if they aren’t yours (for many reasons, but in this case, nightmares = not actually funny.)

(2) as accurately as possible, replicate the following photo sequence (bonus points for leaving gratings that make it look like you have a deep wound) (call off the joke before they take you to the hospital, unless you’re canadian or are studying for your degree in joyless sterile interior design, in which case you just hit jackpot baby):




(3) self-tanning accident. actually, if you hang with the right people (read: lindsay lohan or active-living florida retirement community), no one will notice.

(4) possibly the best: stigmata. if all your friends are jewish and don’t know what you are talking about, make new friends. trust me, this is worth it.

2 comments:

Libby said...

Love this: Martyrdom in the name of home economics! back to the pre-feminist ideal! carry on, grrrls!

square-cesca said...

WOW I just realized how blatantly you called out my hypochondria. BURN. Also this is delicious.